The Fruit Cake That Wouldn't Die
- By: Connie H. Deutsch
It wasn't that it was lethal but it sure should have been condemned on the basis of smell alone. Skunks spray their odor to ward off a perceived threat but grandma's fruit cake shouldn't have been perceived as a threat, yet it still stunk to high heaven, worse than a skunk.
Betsy, the youngest of the grandchildren lacked the diplomacy that the rest of us had to learn if we wanted to live in that house. Whatever Betsy was thinking, she expressed it loudly and often. There was no filter on her opinions. We all grew accustomed to hearing her unfiltered opinions. Everyone, that is, except Grandma.
"Grandma, why does your fruit cake always smell so terrible? Jen says it's because you never throw it out. She says you just keep adding a lot of rum each year to disguise the taste and the smell because you know that no one will really eat it."
Everyone took a deep breath, waiting for the explosion from Grandma. It never came. Instead, she smiled and said, "You've found me out. At my age, it's just too much work to do all the baking and still prepare a holiday meal so I serve the same cake year after year, knowing that everyone will be so full from the huge meal, that they won't have room for dessert. Then, I just wrap up the uneaten fruit cake, put it in the freezer, and shortly before next Christmas, I defrost it, add more rum, and serve it for dessert."
A pin dropping to the floor could have been heard in the next county. Everyone was afraid to breathe because something like that could have set Grandma off. Sharon, her oldest daughter, was mortified. "I get that, but why didn't you let me bring the dessert? I've offered to do the baking every year and each year you turn me down and say that you've got it covered."
"I did have it covered," Grandma exclaimed. "Look at it. It's on the table and it looks wonderful."
Betsy pinched her nose and made a gagging sound. "But Grandma, it smells so bad that no one will even cut a slice."
Grandma just laughed. "But that's the point, my little smarty pants. If no one cuts into the fruit cake this year, I can serve it again next year."
Maggie, her middle child, was so mad at her mother for the trick she played on the family year after year, that she ran into the kitchen and pulled out a big butcher knife. No one saw the knife that she was hiding behind her back until she turned toward the fruit cake and started to cut it into small pieces. Then she took the cake into the kitchen and flushed it down the garbage disposal to the cheers of everyone at the table.
Grandma just sat there smiling. "Well, that settles that. Sharon, next year you're in charge of desserts and don't bring fruit cake. I hate it."
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Connie H. Deutsch is an internationally known business consultant and personal advisor who has a keen understanding of human nature and is a natural problem-solver. She has counseled people who have OCD for more than 40 years,
Connie is the author of the books, “Round and Round Goes the Merry-Go-Round: Drugless Therapy for OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder)” “Whispers of the Soul,” “A Slice of Life,” “Whispers of the Soul for the Rest of Your Life,” “From Where I'm Sitting,” “Are You Listening?,” “View from the Sidelines,” “Reaching for the Brass Ring of Life,” “Purple Days and Starry Nights,” “Here and There,” “And That's How it Goes,” and “The Counseling Effect.” Her website: http://www.conniehdeutsch.com/(http://www.conniehdeutsch.com/)
See more of her articles by clicking here ConnieHDeutsch Articles(http://www.conniehdeutsch.com/page-articles)