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Peeling The Layers

Author : Brikene Bunjaku


In the past months I have noticed one recurring metaphor that keeps coming to my mind every time I think about my life recently: “it has been like peeling an onion and with each layer peeled off, my eyes burn and water even more”. It has been hard trying to slow myself down to really focus at this “onion” in my hand and decide what to do with it, how to peel it and cook it!! So after a long time of trying to ignore it and distract myself with other things, the onion would be ignored no more.

So reluctantly I started. The skin was easy enough to peel off. I wiggled the onion between my palms and it started loosening up. There were no tears or burning and it made me curious to see if I can peel the rest of the onion with my bare hands. So next came the tricky part, the layer attached to the onion that was thin but quite fragile and needed some work. It still wasn’t very complicated, but somewhat challenging. Removing it really motivated me, gave me a feeling of accomplishment and purpose. After a while here I was again, sitting on my bed with this onion in my hand looking at the layers I’d taken off and looking at the layer I had to tackle next. Very often it would take me days to start peeling, still trying to distract myself. Deep down I knew that every layer would require so much work, focus and finesse. Skills I couldn’t call upon at the time. Nevertheless, I reluctantly persevered and every once in a while I would resurface and realize that I had been so consumed with peeling a particular layer so thoroughly and precisely, that I hadn’t left my bed or my room in days.

I became so engrossed in this onion, that when I could think clearly I would promise myself that before starting with the next layer, I would go out and forget about the onion for a long while. Resist its siren call and enjoy the sunshine. Let my eyes recover and the watering subside. I would take what I had learned through that layer and make new plans, set new intentions. But the onion wasn’t having any of it. Even though I had been sure that there was nothing new that the onion could teach me, I had learned everything there was from that peel, I would find myself holding the onion again. Dreading the thought of peeling a new layer and feeling my eyes burn. Each layer took time and was painful to peel, but the relief afterwards was immense. After a particularly thick layer, where I thought that I had blinded myself for sure, I stopped wearing glasses!!! My eyes felt purged.

Peeling this onion has been hard but rewarding work, and looking at it I see that I have many more layers to go. However, no matter how skilled I think I am, the dread still remains. As does the relief and clarity afterwards. But my hands have a life of their one and I am on a slippery slope. So peel I must.


Author's Resource Box

The author is a former United Nations spouse and for eight years she and their child accompanied her spouse in his duty stations in two continents. Brikene is in the process of settling down and establishing a routine.

Article Source:
Articlebliss

Tags:   life, reflection, self-healing, resistance

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Submitted : 2015-03-10    Word Count : 531    Times Viewed: 1283