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Positive Parenting: Tell Your Child How You Feel
Author : Sarah Hall
Your son just can't seem to find his laundry hamper. No matter how many times you ask, his dirty clothes just get dropped on the floor and its driving you mad. A good parenting tip is to talk to him about how this makes you feel, and then, make a request. Positive parenting can turn this around into a lesson about respect.
Children are emotional, and understand feelings well. However, we don't often confide our feelings to them. Instead, we present a stern face, telling them rules, without explaining the impact of their bad behaviour.
Instead of yelling at your son to pick up his clothes, explain to him that when he leaves his clothes on the floor, it's you who has to pick them up. You've already picked up all of your clothes, and you've cleaned the rest of the house, and now you're feeling tired. Then, ask politely if he could please pick up his own clothes.
Speak calmly, and avoid blame. All your child wants is to feel connected with you, and to feel safe about your love. If you assign blame to your child, it can be frightening for them to think they have caused you pain or triggered your anger.
Children need to know that everyone has feelings, including you, and that it is appropriate to share your feelings. Then, by making a request and asking their help to solve the problem, you are teaching them how to resolve all kinds of complicated issues that may arise later on in life.
Your child also needs to know that many things in your life affect your emotions. It's okay to tell them you've had a hard day at work, and that you're too tired to deal with this. Would you mind just helping me put away the dishes?"
By confiding in your child, and telling them how you feel, you are showing your child that you respect them enough to share your feelings with them. You're also teaching them an important life lesson. You're showing them that it's okay to talk about your emotions, and that when you share how you feel, and ask for help, it makes you feel better.
If you are too upset to share your feelings with your child at this particular moment, it's fine to say, "Mommy is very upset right now. I am not upset with you. I'm feeling angry and upset right now. Could you give me a couple of minutes for me to clear my head?"
Telling your child what you are really feeling is far better than pretending everything is fine, when they can certainly tell that you're angry. It's also better than putting the blame on them.
The next time your child does something you don't like, try some positive parenting and tell them how you feel. Remember the important parenting tips of using the word "I", and speaking in a simple, calm manner. Then, ask your child to help you so that the task can get done.
Author's Resource Box
If you would like to read more about Positive Discipline for Children and how confiding your feelings can help build trust with your child, you can do so here http://www.positivedisciplineforchildren.com
Article Source:
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Tags: parenting tips, positive discipline, Children Behavioral Problems, children behavior, behavior problems children, effective discipline for children, positive discipline for children, disciplining children, how to discipline a child without spanking, how to di
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Submitted : 2010-11-08 Word Count : 1 Popularity: 222 Times Viewed: 18
