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Positive Parenting: Understand Your Child's Motives
Author : Sarah Hall
Your son has just fed his lunch to your DVD player, sliding his cheese sandwich into the slot where the disc should go. It's outrageous to you, but before you start yelling, ask him why he did it. Positive parenting involves talking to your child, and sometimes asking questions is the best parenting tip.
It can be difficult. Sometimes, your child won't be able to answer. Questions such as "What were you thinking about"?Asking "what is the matter" can be too broad for your child to understand, and may not prompt the answers you need.
You want to try to ask your questions in a way that will help both you and your child find a solution to the problem.
"Why did you feel that your sandwich belonged in the DVD player? Were you not hungry anymore?"
Rather than leap to a conclusion that your child is misbehaving, take time to ask them some directed questions. Your child probably felt that they had a good reason for their behaviour, and with some help, they can share that information with you. Things that seem ridiculous to us, may seem perfectly reasonable to them.
"The DVD was hungry."
The point of asking the question "Why" is to understand that your child didn't set out to drive you crazy. Don't assume your child is acting out on purpose. They have a motive, albeit perhaps a strange one.
By talking to your child about what they are thinking, you're showing them you respect their thoughts and feelings. This teaches your child that everyone deserves respect for their thoughts and feelings.
By taking time to understand what they are doing and why, you are teaching your child that all human beings deserve respect and understanding.
Children may have wild imaginations, but they do not act with out a purpose, even if that purpose seems unusual.
The next time your child does something that seems inexplicable, pause before reacting, and then ask them what they are doing. Try to see it from their point of view. If it's not something you want them to do again, explain that they shouldn't do this particular thing, and help them find a different course of action.
"The next time the DVD gets hungry, let's feed it your favourite movie. It doesn't enjoy cheese sandwiches, and will be happier with a yummy disc instead."
You need to teach your child that it is safe for them to tell you how they feel and what they think, even when they make mistakes. Particularly when they have made a mistake.
Children are born trusting, but that needs to be reinforced. Be calm, and ask your questions with patience and respect. Let them know that you love them and want to know what they think.
If you follow the great parenting tip of just asking a question, you're helping your child grow up feeling secure in exploring their universe, and knowing you're there to help them know what's right. Positive parenting is as simple as asking the question "why?".
Author's Resource Box
If you would like to read more about Positive Discipline for Children and why you should make sure to ask the question Why?, you can do so here http://www.positivedisciplineforchildren.com
Article Source:
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Tags: parenting tips, positive discipline, Children Behavioral Problems, children behavior, behavior problems children, effective discipline for children, positive discipline for children, disciplining children, how to discipline a child without spanking, how to di
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Submitted : 2010-11-08 Word Count : 1 Popularity: 192 Times Viewed: 28
