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Are You Going To Keep Doing Things You Don't Want To Do?
Author : Trevor Hill
What are you doing this week that you actually don't want to do?
Clues are when you hear yourself saying 'I have to ...', I must ...', 'I should ...'. This is the language of reluctance, obligation and coercion. It may seem that this is inevitable but is it?
The games we play in our heads can tie us in knots. Can you imagine a hippopotamus down at the river wallowing in the mud but not really wanting to? Or a lioness getting miserable because she must hunt? We humans get stuck; we become overwhelmed; we procrastinate.
Consider just one statistic - more than two-thirds of people don't enjoy the work they do. That's a lot of people! The internal tension caused by repeatedly doing things while not wanting to be doing them creates stress, drains energy and is ultimately destructive.
There are, of course, enlightened folk who always want to do what they do. This is something the rest of us can aspire to. How do they do this?
Put simply, they make it a matter of choice. They switch what they do into a choice they make, rather than a choice that is made for them. The locus of control is with them, not somewhere else. Control over what we do and how we do it - autonomy - is in itself a powerful self-motivator.
Here's an example: Glen drags himself to work each morning telling himself that he must do it otherwise the mortgage company will make him and his family homeless. No wonder he feels pretty sick about the whole thing. He'll probably blame the mortgage company, or his employer or the political system or something else.
To turn this completely round, he could make the choice himself. He could decide that he chooses to go to work to provide for his family. The critical difference when he does this is that now the responsibility lies with him.
Of course, this new perspective won't change the content of his job - tasks and colleagues remain the same - but the locus of control is now his. This change in his frame of mind will in itself be a positive step forward. And crucially, now he is aware he is making a choice, he can decide over time whether he is happy with that choice or whether he would like to make a different choice.
So how can this work for you?
Let's go back to my original question - what are you doing that you actually don't want to do? Take one item from the list - say X - then follow these steps:
1. Hear yourself say 'I must/I should/I need to/I ought to/I have to/ do X
2. Check the physical feelings you get from this (people often report a tightening of certain muscles, a sinking feeling, a heaviness)
3. Now reword the statement from step 1 so it becomes 'I choose to do X because ...' and fill in the best reason you can think of (if you come up with no reason at all, why does doing X matter?)
4. Check again the physical reaction you get and feel the difference from step 2
5. Go ahead with X for now on the basis of your choice from step 3
6. Most importantly, stay open to better choices. Because you have signalled to your brain that you are making a choice, it will come back with potentially better choices over the next few days.
Author's Resource Box
Trevor Hill helps people who feel stuck in their situation and yearn to live life according to their own agenda. He specialises in harnessing the power of inspiration so you can be energised, motivated and fulfilled. If you would like other articles like this one or get a FREE copy of Trevors Passport To Inspiration simply visit
http://www.inspiration-at-work.co.uk
Article Source:
Articlebliss
Tags: Autonomy, in control, locus of control, I must, I should, I need to, I ought to, I have to, overwhelmed, procrastinate
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Submitted : 2010-09-02 Word Count : 1 Popularity: 125 Times Viewed: 7
