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Dealing With Difficult People Who Stop Communicating
Author : Dr Judy Esmond
Dealing with difficult people goes beyond working with difficult people but often means trying to handle frustrating and distressing family members. In recent consultations with clients here is an example of a typical experience when dealing with difficult people who are family members.
AN EXAMPLE OF FAMILY MEMBER CONFLICT
Here is what one person has explained. I sure appreciate your advice on coping with difficult people. What I have noted though is in dealing with difficult people at work or acquaintance type relationships it is easier than with family members. I am changing the way I am interacting with my family members and the more I do this, the more persistent and stubborn some of them have become in trying to keep things the same.
CHANGING THE COMMUNICATION RULES WITH OTHERS
When I decied to set limits and boundaries and saying how I felt there was a backlash. Family members still tried to stick their nose in my personal space. I keep strong and keep explaining about my need for personal boundaries. But a very close family member has cut off all communication with me now.
DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
This response from other people is nothing new. This occurs when dealing with difficult people at work and personal experience. When you alter your communication patterns with someone, their first response is to keep working harder to keep the communication the same. When you still persist to change your communication, they often respond by cutting off their communication.
FAMILY SYSTEMS AND COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
Dealing with difficult people in family is far more complicated than dealing with difficult people at work. This is because family members know more about you often. There's years of dysfunctional communication been happening. When someone tries to alter the way they communicate, others often react out of all proportion. They show greater resistance to changing these communication patterns. Often becoming more negative or cutting off communication altogether.
COMMUNICATION HAS STOPPED - WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
There's many ways to handle things when a member of the family cuts off communication with you. But the most vital point for you to remember in dealing with difficult people in any situation is this.
YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHER PERSON
Here it is. Ultimately other people have to be responsible for their own behavior. They must take responsibility for how angry, upset and stressed they are about your communication changes. You can be understanding and empathetic. You can try and keep the communication channels open. You can try and work through their issues and concerns with them. But in the end, it is their decision and responsibility if they decide to cut off further communication with you.
LET IT GO IN DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
You have to be aware that no matter how you attempt to handle the situation, sometimes family members decide to 'cut all ties' and no longer communicate with you. You need to recognize that in the end it is their decision to behave in this way. You have to actually respect their decision and let go in dealing with difficult people. Let go, give them the space they have demanded and get on with living your life.
DEALING WITH PEOPLE AND FURTHER IDEAS FOR YOU
In further articles we'll look at other methods of dealing with people who cut of communication with you. But now stop the guilt. Remember that the decisions adults make are their own choices. Dealing with difficult people in the family means understanding, as you do in dealing with difficult people at work, that everybody makes their own decisions about their lives.
Author's Resource Box
You have more resources waiting for you and a free copy of my Dealing with Difficult People Guide at our website http://www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.com Dr Judy is an international expert and is amongst a handful of leading lights whose advice is constantly sought on all issues relating to employee retention, stress and dealing with people.
Article Source:
Articlebliss
Tags: dealing with difficult people, difficult people, coping with difficult people, family, stress, conflict
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Submitted : 2010-03-19 Word Count : 1 Popularity: 216 Times Viewed: 42
