When I get married, my best friend swears that she will wear a lavender dress even though that will not anywhere near any of my colors. She also swears that she is going to give her toast with an opening line that I will not repeat, but rest assured, the bride will not be the only one blushing on that day, believe me. Do I think she will do it? The dress, no, the speech, well, maybe. But either way, she will be there for me as I glide up the aisle to the strains of the Canon in D, ( the rock and roll version, of course) and she will be there for every panicked, searching for the exits, what the hell am I doing moment before the actual day comes. I know that she will do this because she is my best friend and I love her, and that is what best friends do. That is how to be the best Maid of Honor. Love your friend and do what it is that friends do.
Some brides manage to remain human all the way from engagement to vow- some of them. Many more of them turn into raving, hormonal psychos that no longer resemble anything born of this realm, and yet there you are trying to help her the best way that you can. She will cry. She will call you ugly names, and she will make you wear an ugly, over priced dress that you would never consider being in the same room with ever again. (You do know they do that on purpose, right?) But after the bustle of the wedding planning and the wedding itself, after things settle down and she goes from being "The Bride" to being a wife, she will remember why she selected you for this honor in the first place and she will either be humiliated by her behavior, or she will pretend that none of it ever even happened. Either way, you could play up her guilt, if you want to.
The actual duties of the Maid of Honor are similar to that of the Best Man with a few extra tasks thrown in to keep things interesting. It is the duty of the Maid of Honor, (who we shall from here on refer to as the MOH for simplicity) for instance to plan the bridal shower and the Bachelorette party if there is to be one. She will organize the bridal parties dress fittings and confirm that they all have the appropriate accessories for the wedding day. On the big day, it is the MOH that will carry the groom's ring for the bride and hand it to her trembling fingers at the right moment. She will help keep things flowing during the reception, and will assist in passing out the cake once it is cut. Sometimes the MOH will make a toast at the reception, sometimes not, that is the final decision of the newlyweds.
The Best Man's job has traditionally ended when the reception does, but the MOH has more work ahead of her. She will be tapped to help address and write thank you notes, and make returns if needed. (My best friend says that she will just keep whatever I do not want, that little brat). How involved she is will depend on the relationship between her and the bride.
But in the end, the best thing that a MOH can do for a bride is to smile, hug her and tell her how much she loves her and that she forgives her for all the truly horrid things that she did during the countdown to this day- save this speech for just before the big doors open and she starts down the aisle. Later when you watch the wedding video, try to read the bride's lips as she mutters her way to her slightly bemused bridegroom.
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